...for being right there with The Daily Show when it comes to the sly and soothing satire:
Powerful 'His And Hers' Towel Lobby Stalls Gay Marriage Legislation
WASHINGTON—Gay rights activists protested the defeat of bill S. 743 Monday, saying that the proposed legislation giving homosexuals the right to marry was derailed by the National Association of Semi-personalized Linens Manufacturers (NASLM), a powerful lobby representing the nation's gender-specific bath-towel makers. "The special interests of those producing matching knickknacks for traditional heterosexual couples have been over-represented in this debate for far too long," said GLAAD president Neil Giuliano, citing the influential lobby's contribution of more than $95 million in campaign funds during the last election cycle. "We cannot allow the outdated values of a profiteering minority of towel makers stand in the way of social change." NASLM released a statement in response to Giuliano's criticism that expressed the organization's belief that "marriage is a sacred bond between a his and a hers."
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